Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I don't make a good first impression, or second or third for that matter. My rough, jaded outlook makes me appear aloof. I may seem like I don't want to talk to you because I hide away on the outskirts. It's really because I am in an uncertain place and am afraid that I will fumble and say something out of place. When you have seen me emerge, talking and laughing, I appear confident and carefree. This is not so. It has never been so.
I am in a constant state of fear. I just want to be understood. I am still that little girl who had so much to share and could not articulate the words correctly, or slowly enough. But I still have feelings. I still just want to be understood, no....... made to feel like I matter, given hope that there might be a chance that you love me as much as I stinkin' love you.
And yet, despite these outward hurdles and barriers that block me from getting to you, you looked past the broken exterior and took a chance on me. And for that, I will always be there for you. I will make up for all the ugly you had to pass through to reach the real me.
Thank you for believing in me. I think I'm ready to venture outside a little more, but it's very scary. Please forgive me if I stumble and stumble again.
at 1:38 PM