Friday, April 24, 2009

3 Things that I am Grateful For

1- renewed relationships
2- sisters, lots and lots of sisters
3- children's birthdays

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

3 Things

1- walks to the park
2- that my husband fills in for me (holding a fussy baby, kids' field trips, laundry, and so much more) when other priorities take my time and energy
3- songs that fill your heart

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Finally Realized I am Loved

I have always been an odd duck. I'm kinda kooky and that's after I've mellowed over 30 years.

When I was younger, my grandma and almost every other adult would rather have my other sisters stay with them. My mom would try to soften my hurt feelings, but I knew that I was too talkative, too straight-forward and too opinionated to appease most people.

While planning my Grams' funeral, I have felt even more insecure and inadequate. Thankfully, I shared these feelings with my brother. He spent a lot of time with Grams and she shared thoughts with him that she didn't share with others. He told me things that Grandma said to him about me. That we were alike; second daughters, "black sheep", out-spoken. But the most important thing that he shared was that my Grandma had expressed how much she loved me.

I had heard these words from her towards the end, but I didn't internalize them because I wrote them off to the thankfulness of an old woman who was just grateful for someone to help her to the bathroom. Now I hear from my brother that her words were sincere, and the agedness just took away her inhibitions to share those feelings.

But the best proof that I found was while looking at my pictures. It was right before me all the time. The picture of my Grandma from my last post was a picture taken by me. She is watching me take a picture of my daughter (she didn't know I had her in the picture too.) The look in her eyes is such love. And she's looking at me.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Said "Good-Bye"

As of this minute, she is not gone yet. But I got so tell her that I love her and stroke her head as I held her hand. She is the woman who blazed the trail for women's rights, for the gospel, for technology. She is my mother's mother.

I got to listen to her stories and the many experiences of her 83 years. Because of her testimony, I am able to stand taller and fight a little longer and harder for injustices that I see in my life and time. Because of the lineage that she comes through, she has a birthright given by the Prophet Joseph to her great-grandfather and his children, and therefore, me.

She is a spunky, wise, faithful servant of a Father whose love for her has been apparent these past few months. She has been a part of every aspect of my life and I am a better, stronger person for having been graced to be called her granddaughter.

Save me a place in Heaven.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Discovered what is Germaphobic-Worthy

I am a germ freak. I use my right hand to answer the phone, pull weeds, open doors, etc. so that my dominant left hand can be "germ-free" if I need to eat or write something. I'm a freak I know. Unfortunately, I have passed this trait on to some of my children and not so well to others that SHOULD be afraid.

Case in point: We took the kids to the Pioneer Museum today. BB, as usual, refused to hold his younger sister's hand as we walked along the busy downtown road. After yelling at him that it was his sister, and he better hold her hand or I'd make him put his arm around her, he relented. This is the boy that I am trying to break of the habit of washing his hands with his pants down because he doesn't want to get toilet germs on his zipper.

We had an enjoyable time at the museum, and happened to be there for the anniversary party of the Daughters of Utah Pioneers. They were having cake, treats and punch for all the visitors. I allowed each of my kids to get a little loaf cake and sit on the steps to eat. BB was acting goofy and I asked him what he was giggling about. He said that he had dropped his cake twice and picked it back up. He was eating it again.

With raised brow, I asked how he could eat cake off a public museum floor but couldn't manage to hold his sister's hand? He had no answer, and I am sad to say, I still kinda get it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Made Broiled fish

Looking ahead and trying to get my kids into a reverent mindset, I wanted to have an Easter dinner. I read that the Savior asked for something to eat to prove to the apostles that he was not a ghost. They gave him broiled fish and honeycomb. I couldn't find honeycomb, but bought some fresh salmon.

I sliced some bread to dip in olive oil and vinegar, and opened a can of olives. I read the last chapter in Luke where he gives the account of the Savior visiting the apostles. The girls all whined about the fish. The boy whined about the olives.

I told them that we were going to have a biblical dinner. It was either this or what John the Baptist ate. I'm glad they stopped complaining because I didn't want locusts and honey for dinner.

Monday, April 6, 2009

3 Things

1- The Sacrament
2- kids who are grateful for the presents they got
3- kids who are more excited about what they are giving than getting

Celebrated the Birth of Our Savior

Yes, I know it's not Christmas. But for our family it was- Nativity set, presents, excited children getting up at 5:30.

I don't believe that Christ was born in December. If you wonder why, call or email some time. It has something to do with sheep, mud and taxes.

It was really nice. The kids seemed so happy and it was a beautiful spring day. My favorite part was sitting around the manger as the kids were wakin
g up to the "Hallelujah Chorus" and gathering around together. As the song finished, we stared at this life-size newborn baby doll in the manger. I don't know why, but I had never thought of Jesus as I looked at a helpless new baby. There's baby, and there's JESUS, the Messiah. It was surreal when I looked at that baby and imagined I was one of the shepherds. I cried at the awe of the beautiful moment that must have been. How simple. A loving mother and her husband. A barn. A baby. Straw. And a fulfilled prophesy that would change life (and death) for everyone, everywhere. Hallelujah!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

3 Things

1- that the oven worked
2- warm bread out of the oven
3- goofy school plays where you are so proud of your kids- and other people's kids too

Made Authentic "Finger-Hole" Bread

I dedicated today to making this bread to put into family gift baskets for Easter. It's pretty easy, I don't know what took me so long to try it out.

First you mix the milk, water and yeast. Add sal
t, flour and honey. Mix. Then after it rises in the bowl, you separate and put it into the pans to rise.

While the loaves are rising, now HERE IS THE TOUGH PART:

Leave them on a warming oven and take your fussy infant out of the room. Forget to threaten your 3-year-old. Come back into the kitchen and notice your wonderfully created Authentic "Finger-Hole" bread- all ready to put into the oven. Viola!

If you have mixing skills and a mischievous 3-year-old, you too can make this rare delicacy.
It's almost as much in-demand as Kopi Luwak coffee (It's coffee made from beans that were pooped out by a monkey.)

Ahhhh, a nice quiet morning with a cup of poop coffee and finger-hole bread. The best part of waking up....

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

3 Things I am Grateful For

1- family that drives way out of their way, at dinner time, with 4 kids, just to show my daughter that they care
2- just-out-of-the-oven bread
3- good night kisses from uninhibited kiddles