Questioned Whether I am a good mom

If your kids do things for themselves, is it because you have taught them independence and responsibility? Or is it because they have HAD to do things for themselves because you are too preoccupied, flaky, selfish, or uncaring?

Case in point. Well, two in a row for me. Last night, BEG (Brown-eyed girl, 6-years old) was downstairs playing. Ten minutes earlier she had just complained that her stomach hurt and said it was because she had worked so hard setting the table for dinner. I think my response was, "Oh for heaven's sake. Finish the table and stop whining."

I was dancing with the two youngest in the frontroom, when I heard someone behind me making noise. I turned around just in time to get sprayed by projectile vomit coming from BEG. She had walked all the way upstairs to tell me that she had a mouth full of vomit and was trying to get my attention but couldn't talk. Hmmm. Why not?

After getting her cleaned up and stomach settled (it took two more hurls), she was sleeping peacefully. But not after I felt like a crappy mother and reassured myself that it could happen to anyone. Kids DO make up lame excuses to get out of work.

Now tonight, I hurry the kids to bed and am trying to get BBB (baby boy) to crawl and wear himself out for bed. BBG (Baby girl, 3 years old) was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. I halfway noticed that she walked down the hall and into the kitchen. I didn't look up until one of the other children pointed out that she too had made her way into the frontroom and was proceeding to vomit. The difference here? She had stopped herself from throwing up until she had marched into the kitchen to get a container to carefully barf into. How perfectly responsible of her.

So I ask: Is this the making of a neglected child that needs to care for herself because she knows that mother isn't going to do it for her? Or did I just raise some dang good kids? If it's the latter, I think I'll start teaching the baby to change his own diaper.